Hugs
From my earliest memory of church there has been the practice of greeting one another with a hug. We know this practice was within the early church since scripture speaks of it. Here are a couple examples:
Acts 20:1 "And after the uproar was ceased, Paul called unto him the disciples, and embraced them, and departed for to go into Macedonia."
Romans 16:16 "Salute one another with an holy kiss. The churches of Christ salute you."
The Bible speaks of two items here. Embrace (hug) and a holy kiss. The second item is of interest: "a holy kiss". As opposed to an "unholy kiss". What would be a "holy kiss"? Could there be times when a hug would not be appropriate?
We know that if something is "holy" (set apart) then it is "set apart of God". Something that is God ordained, or God instructed. Simply, that which is scripturally "of the Lord".
The challenge with the Biblical practice of greeting on another with the practice of hugging is one of both personal preference and background. Many folks grew up in homes where an embrace or a kiss as a salutation of greeting was as normal as a handshake. Then there are others whose backgrounds did not include this at all.
So how are the two different backgrounds to relate to each other within the Body of Christ? Here are a couple of scriptures that, when applied to this subject, might help give a better perspective:
"In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths". Psalm 3:6
"Abstain from the very appearance of evil". II Thessalonians 5:22
In other words, we have an obligation to conduct the greeting of one another properly and within the context of what God had intended to be conveyed through the greeting of one another in the Body of Christ. We do not have the freedom to impose upon another our desires or to insist that they function under our comfort levels. We read this in scripture:
Ecclesiastes 3:4-6
4 "A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;"
5 "A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;"
6 "A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;"
Note the one phrase: “a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing”.
So we know then from a review of all of scripture, there must be an etiquette to this matter of hugging and kissing. You would be right; there is.
Here are some points worth considering:
1. Is this interaction "of God".
2. Is my interaction applied to both male and female alike?
(if your actions are "of God" then you should be interacting with both men and women the same)
3. Are my actions properly understood and acceptable to others?
*God does not lead us to insult, or make others feel uncomfortable.*
4. Is this a practice done, generally, by everyone in attendance?
5. What is my emotional response and motivation when engaged in this practice?
Very likely the act of embracing is a normal practice within your specific church. But very few churches today still engage in "a holy kiss", as did the early church. **Especially since the pandemic !!** In fact, anyone you met who is wearing a mask is someone who one would not approach for any reason! There are of course exceptions to this among certain groups. But generally speaking, you do not see a lot of kissing going on today among the Body of Christ. So if you’re the only one doing it, then yes, you very likely are "out of order" and there is a very real possibility that your actions are offending others. Just because your background might find it acceptable and your intentions are good, does not make it "alright" for it to be done in public.
The embrace is also a practice that would require proper etiquette as well. After all, men and women are different and as such, we should then interact differently. For women, and even for men, a front embrace is common and seldom raises any issues. So, we recommend you use front embrace for women to women and men to men. However, for men to women and women to men, a very good practice is the "shoulder to shoulder" embrace.
As a matter of propriety, most today in leadership positions practice and observe the "shoulder to shoulder" embrace. This is generally done with only one arm extended and the extended hand lightly resting briefly on the other shoulder of the person.
Within all the CC services both handshakes and hugs are practiced and the greeting time sometimes will last for several minutes, even with small crowds. This is one of the highlights of the service for us personally as we are allowed to both engage in, and observe, the Body of Christ in fellowship. There is great joy in observing a room full of folks greeting one another in Christ.
We hope you also are in a place each week that enjoys and practices greeting one another with a hug. If you are, we trust that you will honor the scriptural application of this practice as a "gift" from the Lord to be used in His honor. Society today, few notice, has become more and more “anti touch”. Yet the human touch is one of the most widely recognized practices for maintaining good mental health.
Pastor Ray
Thought for the Week
Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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